Understanding Spiritual Awareness & Personal Transformation
Vital Health Zone is proud to announce Gini Grey, who is our resident spiritual awareness and personal transformation expert and who is available to answer all your questions about spiritual awareness and personal empowerment in all areas of your life.
Gini has a private practice and is available for consultation in a number of ways.
Gini answers all your spiritual awareness and personal transformation questions below:
Q: My wife is pregnant with our first child. Should I really listen to my mother and mother in law's advice? They both drive me crazy, and make me feel incompetent, telling me I should cook more etc. This in turn makes me want to leave my wife now, before things get worse.
Until this all started we had a sense of equality and stability in our relationship.
Now, whenever I think if something nice to do in a proactive way, I'm disempowered by a person (usually female, but I know gender is coincidental) nagging me to do it, before they know what I have planned. That just makes me reluctant to continue, as I do not wish to reinforce bad (disempowering) behaviour.
I want some sense of control of (at least part of) my personal life, in a family environment - is this realistic or should I just pack up and leave?
Thanks
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A: Hello Reluctant Cook.
It’s totally understandable what you are going through – you have a major shift happening in your home which affects your relationship with your wife, and you have other women (the other mothers) trying to control what you do. No wonder you feel like bolting. But this is a wonderful opportunity for you to own your space and not feel controlled by others. There’s been a game on the planet for years where women feel controlled by men and men feel controlled by women, but it’s time to end it. Being in resistance doesn't help though as what we resist persists and sticks in our space.
My suggestion is for you to take time each day to find your inner power – your bigger, higher self who sees this as a big cosmic joke (through meditation, exercise or whatever helps you to find inner peace and touch into your empowerment). From this higher perspective you can more easily move into a state of ease and let the females' pushing and nagging energy wash over you instead of stick to you.
Get in touch with what you really want to do and why you want to do it. For example, let's say you're feeling inspired to cook or do something helpful for your wife and then someone suggests you do it and you start to feel pressured. Just breathe, see the humor in the timing of the situation and then retune to what you want to do (not what the other wants you to do) – feel the good feeling you get from supporting your wife and soon to be child and remind yourself that this is your decision, not someone else's. It might coincide with what another wants, but it is your choice.
As you stay focused on the positive aspects of your current situation, and stay as neutral and amused as you can with the difficult parts, you will be able to own your power and not give it away to others. They in turn will sense your new empowerment and most likely back off (at first they might challenge it, but stay in your higher power of amusement and inspiration). If you give in to frustration and powerlessness, this will feel awful, but as soon as you rise above it, you'll feel good again.
All the best with it.
Do you need some inspiration? Visit Gini Grey's Insights & Inspiration.
Gini Grey's writings include the book: “From Chaos to Calm” (which can be purchased when you click on the image of the book cover here on the left - it will take you to Amazon to purchase the book)
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Enjoy better health!
